Wishin' that "Rihanna Rain" would let up already!

Unlike Maggie, I completely resent Rihanna to put it bluntly. I'm not trying to start a PURPLEDRANKK feud or anything like that, but I really don't like her to the point where I am willing to publicly disagree with my esteemed colleague Modge.

The reasons for this hatred are as follows:

1. She never looks happy. I understand she's trying to look "hard" as she once titled herself, but to me Rihanna just seems to be a doll forming to any and every position the public wants her too. Like life's not so cruel to you, you don't have to have a straight face all the time. Which by the way is a look that actually works for Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice, starlet in her own right, who happened to sport Rihanna's look awhile before Rihanna herself... Coincidence? I think not.

Beckham in 2006.


Rihanna in 2006.


Rihanna in 2007.


So the "Rihanna 'Do" as it is called in barber shops nationwide isn't really Rihanna's at all is it?


2. Her "Rude Boy" video looks like something by M.I.A. Random African prints, bleached waves, and '80's inspired special effects abound. The only difference is Rihanna's version is trashier as she bares midriff and struts around endangered animals. She even steals Jessica Simpson's sexy car - washing move from her "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" video and uses it on a zebra. Please compare to M.I.A.'s "Boyz" video. It's even got the same color scheme.



3. She didn't leave Chris right away. Eventually, of course, she did, claiming that she realized it might affect other women. But she should have thought of that right off the bat, and moreover she should have thought of her own safety right away.

4. She wears Mickey Mouse ears in her "Hard" music video. Cuz we all know nothing says "I'm so hard" like impersonating a Disney character.

5.





6. She wrote a song about cheating on her boyfriend that hinted at wanting sympathy. If you "don't want to be a murderer," break up with him before you sleep with someone else.

7. Another case of her ripping off someone else's music video. The same idea of trying to empower women who have been cheated on and the same sort of setting encompass both Beyonce's "Irreplaceable" and Rihanna's "Take a Bow." Even the lyrics compare:

"Everything you own in a box to the left" and "Grab your clothes and get gone" are just a bit similar. And, of course, Beyonce's hit came first. Surprised? I didn't think so. See for yourself.







8. In the "I'm so hard" piece, she sings,

"Where them girls talkin' trash
Where them girls talkin' trash
Where they at, where they at, where they at

Where them bloggers girls at
Where them bloggers girls at
Where they at, where they at, where they at."

How about all the boys talking trash about you, Rihanna? Or are you just that hot that no boy could possibly say a mean thing about you? Surely Perez has slandered you at least once. Yet it's only the girls who do it who you're going to write a song about. Hi, you're a celebrity. People are going to hate.

I, personally, am proud to be a "blogger girl talkin' trash." I would pick this role any day over a pop star who rips off everyone else's hair, pout, and music videos, while also expecting sympathy from her fans through her lyrics for cheating on a boyfriend and being famous. Sorry, Rihanna, you'll get no sympathy from this girl.